Hard to top last week, when we said goodbye to two assholes (Bill Belichick and Bobby Knight) and hello to a hero (Nolan Ryan). Today, however, could be just as delicious as sports climbs atop Capitol Hill. NFL commish Roger Goodell will try to ‘splain why his league destroyed the Patriots’ spying evidence -- and, of course, TV’s best reality show climaxes this morning as Roger Clemens and Brian McNamee take their “he said-he said” under oath. Though it’s shame on you if you believe one word from John Rocker, expect the Rangers to be mentioned a least a couple times …

Couple of items from Valley Ranch. It’s a formality that the Cowboys will promote Tom Ciskowski to director of scouting. Unlike Jeff Ireland, however, Ciskowski will not earn the additional title of vice president. Also moving up the flow chart, director of college scouting Chris Hall, who’s been watching tape and evaluating talent since the Jimmy Johnson era. And, to reiterate, don’t count on Dallas including Marion Barber in any trade to move up and draft Arkansas’ Darren McFadden.

Though Jerry Jones is salivating over McFadden, son and VP Stephen is adamant about retaining Barber. For what it’s worth, Dallas’ current draft board ranks the running backs, in order, as such: Darren McFadden, Arkansas teammate Felix Jones, Oregon’s Jonathan Stewart, Illinois’ Rashard Mendenhall and Texas’ Jamaal Charles …

Just saw -- again -- those incessant Sports Illustrated ads celebrating the Giants’ Super Bowl win. On the ball commemorating New York’s season: two lopsided losses to the Cowboys. Sickening …
Speaking of Clemens, if you’re entering a fight do you really want former Ranger Jose Canseco in your corner? …

Guess the Rangers’ off-season moves to acquire Ben Broussard and -- yes, again -- Kevin Mench haven’t exactly convinced the oddsmakers. Las Vegas spots them as a 100-1 long-shot to win the World Series, tied for biggest underdog on the board. Red Sox and Mets are favorites at 3.5-1. Behold the magic of Tom Hicks. Instead of ripping him for not signing Johan Santana, we’re somehow lauding him for re-signing Ryan? …

David Beckham will make three appearances in Frisco this season. Leftovers, however, never taste quite as good …

Considering the Mavs’ recent spiral, can Dirk Nowitzki’s annual buzz cut be looming? …

If you’ve wondered why athletes and rappers and celebs don’t travel safer, you’re too late. A Dallas-based company is rolling out “Vault Transportation”, which is basically a fleet of stylish, armored Hummer limos. The idea arose from Fort Worth native and Broncos player Darrent Williams getting shot through the door of his limo. I hear Shaquille O’Neal hopped in one after a Mavs’ game recently and was immediately sold …

T.O. gets a Dallas radio show. Not Terrell Owens, mind you, but rather long-time Mavs physician Dr. T.O. Souryal. His popular “Inside Sports Medicine” has expanded to two hours Saturday mornings on ESPN 103.3 FM …

Two rules the NFL needs to tweak -- no, make that trash -- this season. First, the “force out.” If a defender keeps a receiver from coming down with two feet inbounds, he should be rewarded. Duh. Otherwise, let’s start awarding three points for field goals that are blocked by the middle of the line because we can assume the kick would’ve been good if not for the pesky defense. And, though it will negate one of Marion Barber’s main weapons, it’s not fair to allow running backs to stiff-arm defenders directly in the face mask, yet somehow penalize a cornerback for “illegal hands to the face” when bumping a receiver near the line of scrimmage …

When Eric Dickerson says he still cares about SMU football, believe it. As I write in this week’s paper version of Unfair Park, Dickerson was the catalyst for bringing June Jones to Dallas. Furthermore, the dude still has “ponyexpress” as part of his personal e-mail address.